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Fitness - My Own Journey (Part 1)

I'm going to let you in on a little secret.

One I'm not ashamed to admit, and in many ways am proud of, because it has made me the person I am today, both physically and mentally.

I haven't always been in shape.

There - I said it. In my profession that may sound surprising, but exercise for me came late in life. As a child I was skinny - really skinny. There were girls stronger than me. I enjoyed the usual kids' activities like riding my bike and climbing trees, but I was physically weak. At school I was hopeless at sport.

When it came to appointing captains to pick teams, I was never asked. I was the awkward child you would see standing against the sports hall wall, waiting to be picked, knowing that I would probably be the last person to be called out. Even then I felt like I was only picked because the team captain had no one left to choose from!

I put a brave face on it and acted like I didn't care, but the truth is I was embarrassed. I felt others were judging me on my appearance, and that feeling made me shy away from physical activity even more. I didn't want to find myself in a situation where I would feel that way. Gym class, tennis lessons and sports time always filled me with dread.

I found myself taking on the attitude of ' why should I bother? ' and ' what's the point in trying? ' Doing that seemed easier than thinking about the alternative; doing something that made me feel uncomfortable by putting me outside my comfort zone.

Going to a school with a strong sporting background didn't help matters. I did well academically but the 'cool crowd' were the guys that won cups, scored goals, led the rowing team or won cross country without breaking so much as a sweat! Where was I to fit in physically?

'You have to!'

Back then there was so much pressure to succeed at sport. Everything was compulsory. As someone not turned on by sport I was made to feel I had to perform. I had to make an effort. I had to help my house win the athletics competition by doing my part in the relays or the long jump. I had to win at least a Ember in cross country or else I was 'dead meat!' (A Prefect's words, not mine).

The more people pushed me to perform, the less interest I had in complying. My attitude was along the lines of ' I can't, so I won't '. If I was going to enjoy exercise it had to be on my terms. For many years I would continue to 'dodge' sport and exercise as much as possible.

Once I left school it was easier to do just that. No one was there to tell me to 'get out on the pitch' or 'get moving'. I could put it to the back of my mind and focus on other things in life, like work and socialising.

School had made me associate exercise with competition and discomfort, not enjoyment. A competitive edge just wasn't in me. Even years later, when I started training for Triathlon, I had no desire to win. For me it is the taking part - the experience - that I enjoy, not the desire to beat my fellow competitors.

Nothing to Lose.

So when did things change? Well, it wasn't until my early twenties that my mindset began to change, and I looked at exercise in a whole new light. It didn't happen overnight, but with a subsidised gym membership offered as part of a job package, I thought I might as well dip my toe in the water and give exercise a second chance. I couldn't promise to enjoy it, but it was worth having a go. After all, what did I have to lose?

The answer is nothing. potentially I had plenty to gain. Those first few weeks were tough - I won't lie to you. I was forced to start slowly and lightly, and my body didn't know whether it was coming or going! Exercise seemed like hard work, and I wondered how long it would take me to get where I wanted to be. That said, the feelings it gave me were phenomenal.

I began to feel alive. I was starting to feel parts of my body working that I barely knew existed! My energy levels started to rise and I began to feel more focused at work. The sense of satisfaction it gave me made the effort worthwhile. I actually felt good for putting the effort in!

The idea of exercise was beginning to stick. For the first time my mind had come round to the idea of feeling good about exercise. I had started to move away from the mindset that I had to exercise. Now I actually wanted to exercise and be active, because I realised that I enjoyed the after-effects. I was now starting to see light at the end of the tunnel...

Click HERE to read the final part of this article.